These past few days while flipping through the news feeds on my browser mulling over what I was going to write about this week, I somehow overlooked the obvious. I suppose it is because in the last twenty years or so the media surge over approaching winter storms has become so overwhelming that true New Englanders have learned to ignore it. So I'm sure it comes as no surprise to any one that I intend to add my opinion to the life and death subject of a snowstorm in Connecticut. Now I wrote "true New Englanders" with a measure of artistic license. I'm not just referring to the indigenous population, I'm addressing a certain state of mind that a lot of us used to possess. Even though our population has gone through increases and declines and there seems to be less and less people who are actually from Connecticut that live here, it appears lately that it makes no difference if your from New England or not when it comes to snow. Whether your a Nutmegger or Bay Stater, Downeastah' or Granite Slater we seem to have forgotten exactly where we live. There is a distinct difference between respecting the power of a winter storm and the all out fear of one. Just the same it's one thing to complain about the weather and another to live in dread of it. Unfortunately a lot of us have chosen the latter in both cases. With that in mind I feel that it's a necessary public service to offer a refresher course in New England winter weather survival for those who may need it.
Before I get to the informative portion of this article, I ask you to bear with me as I vent a few complaints on the subject at hand.
1. The Media - I have lived in Connecticut my whole life and looking back on the 49 and counting winters I have seen, I'd like to remind the local media of the blizzards of 2014, 2013, 2011, 2006, 2003, 96, 91, 88, 83 and who can forget 78 and the ice storm of 73. These are just a few of the snowy highlights that I remember the most. I truly have forgotten how many "wicked bad storms" there actually have been In my lifetime. Hmmm... seems to be a pattern, doesn't it? Well, the media doesn't seem to remember any of these whiteout wonders. Maybe it's because they're too focused on trying to freak us out about the latest storm at hand, they forget that it snows here every year. Does anybody else remember when the weather was just a four or five minute segment out of an entire news program? And that was from a time when you only had the local news at 6:00 and the national news at 6:30 with the best weather maps of the day made of construction paper tacked onto corkboard. I find it very curious that over the past few days nothing happened not only in Connecticut but in the entire world that any of the local networks deemed news worthy except for the impending snowstorm. Good news for us though, huh? No murders, no robberies, home invasions, missing persons, arrests, accidents or government shutdowns. Only the upcoming blizzard that was predicted to bring us anywhere from 4" to 36" of snow. What's the big, fat, snowy, hairy deal? Sounds like your typical New England snowstorm to me. And it wasn't enough to report it during the ninety minutes of local broadcasts, it made the national news for at least a 10 minute segment and they broke into prime time programming all evening long to give us "updates" over and over and over again. It was enough to make you go winter wonderland whacko. The only thing that I did enjoy watching was the meteorologists trying to save face the next day when they realized that they only got it half right. What bothered me the most in the aftermath was after the mountain turned out to be a molehill, they continued to try and tell us that it was, in fact, a mountain. Who counts snow totals in a blizzard anyway, right?
2. The Government - I have to say that I do support the decision to implement a travel ban during the height of the storm. It was probably one of the smartest things I've seen our local government do in a long time. It kept unnecessary traffic off the roads and in the long run, made the cleanup go a lot quicker than it would have if the state had to keep rescuing people that didn't have enough common sense to stay home in the first place. Not to mention having to plow around accidents and abandoned cars because some nor'easter nut job just had to have Chinese food during a blizzard. However, what I do not agree with our local legislators on is the silent endorsement they seemed to give the fore mentioned media. Instead of calming their constituents by reminding them that we've all been through this numerous times, they used the very same platform to pick up their own political snowball and run with it. I have no problem with our politicians using the media to endorse their agendas but not at the expense of the public's well being. Along with assuring us all that everything was well in hand, I felt it was necessary for our leaders to rout out the media hype for what it really was. By not correcting or criticizing the media's proportional blowout of the actual facts I feel that they just added to the overall panic.
3. The Retailers - Now I'm not against anyone trying to make an honest dollar and although I feel most stores do take a certain amount of advantage as to what the traffic will bear, for the most part there is very little price gouging for winter supplies. The price is the price pretty much statewide. Cost is not what I hold our shopkeepers in contempt over, it's how they provide their services that makes me want to choke the nearest snowman. I understand that it is almost impossible to determine how much product a store will actually need due to a run of customers brought on by a winter storm, but c'mon guys and gals, if a storm is coming and has been predicted in a reasonable amount of time beforehand, it's not weather surgery. Just take what you had in stock the last storm, multiply it by at least two and that should be close to enough. You'll still clear your shelves, but it will at least last a little longer than five minutes and the fights over the Sealtest may not be as severe. And is it too much to ask for a simple shopping cart or to have more than three out of twenty four registers open while the thousands of your customers are lining the insides of your chilly corporate coffers? The price as I said is the price, without gouging. However, these guys are making money hand over frostbitten fist by only paying for a minimal staff, making us stand in lines that go two thirds down the aisles and having us clear out their perishable inventory for them while we're doing it. Now that's what I call ice cold cash. The problem is, it's coming out of our wasted time and frozen pockets.
4. The General Population - I remember reading once that "a person is smart but people are dumb panicky animals." Although I can't recall the author, I'm almost positive whoever said it was looking at a supermarket parking lot before a blizzard. I understand that conditions before a storm will not be the norm. It's going to be busy, crowded and hectic and rightly so, organized chaos if you will. This, however, does not explain the vicious self-centered feeding frenzy that has now become the populous preparing for a snowstorm. And everyone seems to be focused on just a few choice items... eggs, milk and bread . I have racked my snow coated brain over why these three items seem to be the most popular and why everyone needs two or three dozens, four or five gallons and six or seven loaves. Why is it that the most perishable products are the ones to sell so fast when we are facing a possible power outage. Doesn't anyone eat cereal anymore? Wouldn't it make more sense to buy dry or canned goods that can lasts for months on their own. I know that Mother Nature is providing us with refrigeration "au natural" but anyone who doesn't have a gas stove shouldn't count on Hades showing up anytime soon. Better be prepared to eat those eggs "a la Rocky". I'll never understand why so many New Englanders consistently subscribe to all this hype. When was the last time, outside of Irene and Sandy (not snowstorms, by the way), that anyone in this state was ever snowbound for any more than 24 -48 hours? The average snowstorm lasts between six and twelve hours, produces two to six inches of snow and takes roughly eight to ten hours to clean up. Why then, when one is reported to hit, most of us seem to have no qualms about trampling our fellow residents for that last loaf of Wonder when we can just as easily buy one tomorrow? This is a study in human nature that I don't think I want to hear the results on. It may just damage my opinion of my fellow man.... Oh, I'm sorry..... Was my sarcasm showing?
A couple of articles ago I asked my three faithful readers to be realistic if not nostalgic. I ask that of you all again as we go back to a time when New Englanders were a little more thick skinned. A time when stores were busy before a storm but not on the verge of a riot over the last pre-packaged bundle of firewood. Back when although the twelve weeks of cold may have seemed longer to us than the other three seasons, we made the best of it because we are New Englanders and this is our home. If we didn't have the change of seasons, it wouldn't be New England. A time, when starting as early as September, stores were filled with Flexible Flyers, Igloo Blocks, Flying Saucers, snow boots and those incredibly ugly puffy down ski jackets everyone had with the collection of lift tickets hanging from the zipper pull that for some unknown reason are making a recent comeback. Now all we see is a small stack of those plastic poor excuses for sleds behind a huge display of snow shovels and rock salt. A time when a snow day or weekend meant a day or two of sledding down your tallest hill, making snow angels or bumper skiing off the back of your father's pickup until you couldn't feel your fingers or cheeks anymore instead of looking out the window as the snow falls. Snow forts and snowmen not video games and YouTube. I suppose as we become more of a technological society the gadgets and gizmos replace the snowballs and ice caves. It's kind of a shame....I think in hindsight we've lost something that our children may never get back or experience the way we did.
With all that out of the way, I'd almost forgot that this is supposed to be an informative article. My apologies to any one who's been waiting. I tend to lose track of time when I'm venting. OK, now get out your pencils and paper so you can jot this gem of wisdom down, step by step, so you don't forget it. Everybody ready?........ Good, here it is.
1. You live in New England.
2. It snows here.
3. Sometimes it snows five or six times a month. (especially late November through March)
4. Don't panic. June will be back.
5. Play nice with others.
6. You can survive without eggs, milk or bread for at least a day or two.
Strictly an observation. If you'll excuse me, I have a snowman to build.
